Pablo Maurer, Jeff Rueter, Marcus Thompson II and Alexander Abnos also contributed to this list.
On Friday, ahead of the NWSL Challenge Cup final, commissioner Lisa Baird spoke to media for over 40 minutes, answering questions about what comes next for the NWSL after the conclusion of the tournament on Sunday, the developments in sponsorship and media coverage for the league over the past month and, of course, expansion. On Tuesday, it was announced that the rights to a new team for 2022 have been awarded to a star-studded ownership group in Los Angeles that includes Natalie Portman and 14 former U.S. women’s national team players.
Baird also revealed that the league has attracted new interest from other potential ownership groups thanks to the Challenge Cup, while still reaffirming that the league wants to continue its expansion efforts both “thoughtfully and in a way that the standard of play in the NWSL continues to grow.”
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Just to be clear, this list of potential expansion owners and markets is… not exactly that.
But with the LA group as inspiration, we’ve got plenty of candidates for celebrity owners and cities that are ready for the NWSL. The common theme? Alex Morgan continues to be in high demand for both real and imaginary expansion teams.
Here are our wildest dreams (pun intended) for NWSL expansion — and, in a couple of cases, pleas for the return of women’s soccer to previous homes. —Meg Linehan
Taylor Swift | Nashville
This is a no-brainer and simply needs to happen immediately. Natalie Portman’s pursuit of a team in LA began by having lunch with Alex Morgan, who also so happens to be tight with Swift — the self-proclaimed “president of the Alex Morgan fan club.” Swift has had the entire USWNT on stage at one of her concerts, has voiced her support for the team’s equal pay fight, was a soccer player herself and has oodles of money, so owning a team in her hometown of Nashville is the logical next step for her. The club can wear red. What more could you want?
Never goes out of style.
Happy Friday! 😁 pic.twitter.com/ACsX18S6sY
— U.S. Soccer WNT (@USWNT) July 24, 2020
Although she probably doesn’t need partners in this venture, she could build out a group to rival what LA now has by pulling in another local in Reese Witherspoon and Nash-stralians Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman. Again, this is all so perfect that I’ve already moved past wondering if it should happen to trying to guess how high the bidding war between LA and Nashville for Alex Morgan will go. The bad blood will surely spark the NWSL’s next great rivalry. —Brooks Peck
Amy Poehler and a full brigade of Massholes | Boston Breakers Resurrection
I’m just going to keep riding this wave all week after bringing the idea up in a live Q&A on Tuesday (though, because I’m me, I’ve definitely had this thought long before this week). Here’s a fact: the Boston Breakers should still be playing in the NWSL. But if we’re going to look to a woman with the vision to set history right, there’s no one from Boston I trust more on this front than Amy Poehler. And her first objective will be to reunite the Mewis sisters back in their home state.
Get out the Leslie Knope binders, call former Breakers player Leslie Osborne, and get to work. Poehler has plenty of folks to choose from to bring along for the ride, and hopefully they’ll have better ideas than Jean-Ralphio and Mona Lisa. That said, Jenny Slate’s top of my list, but you could also pick Connie Britton’s brain for inspirational speeches set to “Explosions in the Sky,” or call up Mindy Kaling, who decided to invest in Swansea City after being inspired by Oprah. Uzo Aduba is already invested with Angel City, but I bet she’d provide some guiding influence on the expansion process.
Sure, the brand will definitely need a refresh to keep up with the times, but there’s still plenty of hope back in New England for the NWSL to make it’s return. And if you need to bring in a dude to round out the list, well, Chris Evans is surely waiting for your call, Amy. (In the version of the world I want to live in, at least.) —Meg Linehan
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Michelle Akers & Arthur Blank | Atlanta
Atlanta is certainly a ripe market for NWSL expansion, if the city’s support of their MLS franchise is any indication. The city has no shortage of potential celebrity investors — either of the dudes from Outkast, T.I., Lil Jon, Usher or, as my editor Brooks Peck has insistently reminded me today, Raven-Symone? They would all be great, but if we’re following the Angel City model, the ownership group will need some national team clout, as well. Enter Michelle Akers, the GOAT. Akers, who owns a farm just outside the city where she rehabilitates horses, is as iconic a figure as you’ll find in American soccer. And there are other potential benefits, too. Aside from the invaluable work she does with animals, Akers has occasionally offered individual soccer training at her farm, as well. Clearly this imaginary Atlanta side would end up being the most resolute, indomitable team in the league, given Akers’ influence.
I’m not sure yet what the name would be, but it won’t follow the traditions of other ill-fated Atlanta women’s sides, like the Atlanta Beat (who had one of the strangest mascots I’ve ever seen) or the never-even-started Atlanta Vibe. And we’ll include Uncle Arthur here for his deep pockets, but he’s just a silent investor — Akers is the face of this franchise. Maybe the outline of the crest could just be the silhouette of a big, curly mane of hair. — Pablo Maurer
Céline Dion | Montreal
The desire for the NWSL to expand into Canada has been well established for years, but typically the big Canadian cities we see discussed are Vancouver and Toronto. Let’s talk about the love of the game in Montreal instead.
Enter our dream investor: Céline Marie Claudette Dion. She has already considered buying a professional sports team before, back in 2009 when she was among the list of candidates for the NHL’s Montreal Canadiens. If there’s a potential owner I trust more than anyone else on this list to truly bring her A-game when it comes to sideline fashion, it’s Céline. She’d also demand nothing but the best for the team’s kits, as well.
Just imagine this energy, every single week of the season — and think of what she’d bring to designing a mascot:
She’s got plenty of other business experience to add to the NWSL. She’s started a multitude of her own product lines — including a gender-neutral baby clothing line (called CELINUNUNU, and yes, I absolutely had to copy and paste that in order to spell it correctly) — thanks to how much weight her name holds up north. That shows she’s also ready to hang with the fans that buy out the re–inc product drops from Megan Rapinoe, Christen Press, Tobin Heath and Meghan Klingenberg.
If there’s any new owner who could tempt Laura Harvey back to coaching in the NWSL, it’s Dion. And the best bonus of all: this would mean officially sanctioned remixes of NWSL highlights set to “My Heart Will Go On.” Let’s go, Canada, we’re ready. — Meg Linehan
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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and the residents of New York City | The Bronx/Queens
Ocasio-Cortez is one of the breakout political figures of the last couple years, with a national platform that few with her experience level have ever matched. She’s done this while championing causes like Black Lives Matter, equal pay for women and most recently delivered a stirring speech on the House floor standing against “idle” harassment of women in the workplace and beyond. If those sound like issues that might resonate with an NWSL audience, you would be right. She’d be a natural choice to spearhead a team in the five boroughs, preferably in the area in or near her 14th Congressional District, encompassing parts of eastern Bronx and north Queens.
If this proposed confluence of sports and politics seems like it crosses a line to you, consider the following: 1) New Jersey governor Phil Murphy owns Sky Blue FC, and 2) U.S. Senator Kelly Loeffler (R-Ga.) is currently co-owner of the WNBA’s Atlanta Dream, and has been outspoken against Black Lives Matter and related causes.
This whole piece, of course, is a wish list and not necessarily based in reality. In the real world, it’s unlikely that AOC has enough cash entirely on her own to buy into the league, nor has she necessarily shown an outsized interest in soccer (though she has done an Instagram Live w/ Megan Rapinoe and invited her to Capitol Hill). What AOC does advocate for better than almost anyone else right now, though, is inclusive communities. As such, in my mind’s eye, this expansion bid would be a chance for the NWSL to add the most organic and community focused of professional sports properties: a fan-owned team (a la the Green Bay Packers), with AOC as a figurehead leading the charge. She raised about $12.5 million entirely from individuals in the last election cycle, so with her magnetism, plus that of a few local USWNT stars past and present (Crystal Dunn and Allie Long hail from the surrounding area), it’s not out of the question to think they could raise enough capital to get it done.
Doing it this way would give the NWSL the best of so many worlds: a direct link to a transcendent public figure, a foothold within the confines of the media capital of the country and a natural rival for the New Jersey-based Sky Blue FC — potentially the type of regional matchup that has helped raise the profile of MLS since growing to two teams in each of New York and Los Angeles. It would also create a readymade fan base that has already bought in, literally.
Somehow, it’s easier to imagine this far-fetched scenario happening than it is to imagine the team actually finding its own stadium in which to play; that’s a puzzle not even NYCFC and its deep-pocketed ownership have managed to solve. But we can cross that (Triborough) bridge when we come to it. —Alexander Abnos
Briana Scurry, Lizzo and… Seann William Scott? | The Twin Cities
The list of Minnesotan celebrities isn’t exactly going to rival Angel City’s lineup (we miss you, Prince, for more reasons than you know), but at least 1999 World Cup legend Briana Scurry first starred for Anoka High School. But Minneapolis was a detour on Lizzo’s route to stardom between Houston and Los Angeles.
When you Google “famous Minnesotans,” within the top 10 results is Seann William Scott — “Stifler” from American Pie. It’s bleak. But he once hung out with AC Milan players, so let’s throw him in there, too.
Regardless of the owners’ celebrity, launching a club in the Twin Cities seems like a slam dunk. Not only does the market already house an MLS team (Minnesota United) with a 19,400-seat soccer-specific stadium, but they also fervently support one of the WNBA’s model franchises: the dynastic Minnesota Lynx. One of the University of Minnesota’s most popular teams is their women’s basketball program, and their soccer team regularly represents the Big Ten in the NCAA tournament. If Lizzo and Seann William Scott can find common ground, it’s a perfect fit. —Jeff Rueter
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Marc Benioff, Brandi Chastain, Stephen and Ayesha Curry, Kehlani, Julia Roberts | Bay Area
Can you even legit have a soccer league without a Bay Area team? Clearly you can. BUT IT DOESN’T FEEL RIGHT. The legacy of women’s soccer in the Bay Area is strong, dating back to Women’s United Soccer Association. The San Jose CyberRays were one of the original eight teams in the nation’s first professional women’s soccer league, sparked by the fervor created by the USWNT when they won the 1999 World Cup on American soil.
This is why Brandi Chastain — a legend for anyone who knows anything about American soccer, or soccer, or America — would be a perfect component to the ownership team. She is from the Bay. She is still here, fighting the good fight for the sport. She is a volunteer assistant coach at Santa Clara University. Volunteer. Yes, Brandi is still about that life.
Speaking of soccer legends — Sissi can be the coach. She is an adopted member of the Bay Area community. The former attacking midfielder for the Brazil national team played for the CyberRays and just never left the Bay. She is in the trenches of Bay Area women’s soccer as head coach of a club team and coaching at the community college level for over a decade.
Stephen Curry is a huge proponent of girls in sports and is a draw all his own. He is also a soccer fan who is friends with Neymar, a big Leo Messi fan and learned moves from Steve Nash. Him, Ayesha and his girls at the games will be a spectacle. Imagine the photo op of Riley Curry playing with Bay Area-rooted soccer stars Alex Morgan and Julie Ertz — who this ownership would demand via expansion draft, of course — on the pitch before the game. Kehlani is also an incredible draw and a superstar with whom women’s soccer fans are very familiar. Not just because she is dripping with swag and her whole style screams soccer-star-chilling-after-a-game. But because her catalogue is a soundtrack of empowerment and realness.
Guess who just bought an $8.3 million Victorian home in San Francisco? Julia Roberts. What better way for the renown feminist and former NWSL pitch woman to ingratiate herself into the community?
And the big bank behind it all is Benioff. He is worth $7.7 billion. The founder of Salesforce is a well-known philanthropist in the Bay Area. He closed the gender pay gap at his company and has championed pay equality. He is worth $7.7 billion. In 2016, he was honored by the Billie Jean King Leadership Initiative along with the USWNT for his inclusive leadership. Did we mention he is worth $7.7 billion? —Marcus Thompson II
Carmen Electra, Nick Lachey and The National | Cincinnati
I mean, come on. The city has an annual holiday called Rose Lavelle Day (July 19, for those who want to celebrate). The city has a soccer stadium under construction set to open in 2021. The only real surprise here is that, uh, Nick Lachey and Carmen Electra spent their entire formative years in Cincinnati, Ohio. The National may be the brooding Brooklyn dads most of us never had, but they originated in Cincy and launched a Homecoming music festival in 2019. Allocate Lavelle to her hometown, find some way to get this absolute mess of celebrity to collaborate, and you’ll have an NWSL dynasty.
Plus, Aaron Dessner and Taylor Swift can reunite after their work on her latest album, Folklore, to make a new NWSL anthem which runs laps around what Hans Zimmer bwahhh’d out for MLS. It’s all on the table. —Jeff Rueter
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Literally any MLS owner who hasn’t already invested in the league | Every other major market
Guys. Please. Most of you have been asleep at the wheel for years, supposedly losing money on a product nobody really wants to see. In the meantime, outsiders like Natalie Portman have beaten you to the punch. It’s time to make a wiser investment. While you’ve been off desperately trying to fabricate some sense of authenticity, the NWSL has been building their own organically. We’ve been watching your tournament in Orlando. There isn’t even an on-field playground.
It’s time to put your money where your mouth is and invest in the women’s game before the rest of the world drives up the price on you. —Pablo Maurer
(Photo: Kevin Mazur/Fox/Getty Images for FOX)
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